Under construction  What is meditation  Under construction

Feel to heal - the importance of feeling

Religions and religious movements

The 4  brains & meditation

A new concept of ego

Higher spiritual feelings

The concept of evil

The intelligent stomach-brain

The inner cosmic child

The power of collectivity in meditation

The crystallization of Consciousness

Body & Head

Understanding  no understanding

The universe and Consciousness

Identity and inner body sensations

Spirit and sex

Quotes from western Mystics 



Feel to heal - the importance of the ability to feel


If you can face it, God can fix it.

If God brought you to it, he will bring you through it

The foundation of all mental illness is the avoidance of legitimate suffering.- C. G. Jung

Meditation on the Inner Body – an exploration of things hidden behind the obvious

The best way to go through this chapter is to read it while simultaneously feeling the impact in the body.
As long as your brain and body are together in reading, it means that you are resonating with the essence of the text. If your body looses interest in reading it means the text is not at present "meant" for you. It is a question of resonance.
You might be a far more spiritually advanced Soul than I am and still not understand a word of what is written here!

The largest & most important sense organ – the skin
Of all the five senses the sense of feeling is the most fundamental in the process of meditation.
At least this I my personal experience.
Amplification of feeling-sensations through awareness
Right now… Just feel the many different sensations from your skin: feel your toes, feet’s, legs, hands … feel also how the clothes has contact to your skin. Maybe you can even feel the sensation of your hair on the head and the feeling of your face in contact with the surrounding air. When you direct your innocent awareness to these simple facts of sensation, you will feel an immediately amplification of these sensations.
This spontaneous amplification is tremendous important.
A short preliminary definition of the difference between awareness and consciousness
At the same time we note that we are able to direct our awareness to different locations - contrary to our consciousness. In this context our definition of consciousness is that it is  essentially abstract and non-locate-able in time and space. Consciousness is also not dependant of sensations.  Awareness is basically rooted in feeling sensations and is direct-able. 


Now let us aware our hands

The brain has reserved a lot of processor power for the hands. Accordingly it will be the best place to sense this phenomenon of sense-amplification. When you start feeling your hands in this simple non-intellectual aha-awareness they will start tingling or feeling hot or heavy…
This is the first step into the exploration of things hidden behind the curtain of the obvious.
Now feel - deliberately I don't use the word "look" - deeper into this phenomenon - right in this moment it is taking place in your hands.  You will now be able to innerstand several small things so close to you that your eyes have not been able to see them. Nevertheless these small things have been with you your whole life!
And behind the curtain of the obvious you have been their servant!
The two directions of feeling sensations
So the first innerstanding of the obvious is that your sense of feeling is dual. They can be divided into:
Outer skin sensations 
&  Inner feeling sensations from the core of the body

Outer skin sensations

I guess we are all quite intellectually aware of our body's outer skin sensations. But let us make a little experiment.
When you, starting with your outer skin-sensation, aha-feel your hands, then arms etc. you will most probably discover that the previous mentioned sense-amplification after some time is taking you away from the surface of the skin and deeper into the body.
Feeling sensations from the inside of the body
So now we are beginning our journey into the inner body. Astonishing is the fact that the sensations we receive from the inner core of our body somehow is a very aware fact and at the same time is utterly shrouded in unawareness. 
So here our exploration into the obvious begins. We have metaphorically spoken to start with rediscovering that 1 plus 1 equals 2.
Physical pain

One type of sensations we are able to receive from the inner body is the sensation of physical pain. Physical pain is in general a non-dual sensation. But under certain circumstances physical pain can morph into what could be called ecstatic sensations.
Sexual sensations
The sexual sensations are mono-sensations like the pain sensations. But similar to the pain sensations they can transform into the same area of ecstatic sensations. The sexual sensations are furthermore able to bridge and connect the physical with the emotional sensations. 
Emotional sensations
Another type of sensations arises from from here. We call them feelings or emotions. They are somehow close relatives to pain, but in opposition to the physical pain-feelings they are dual in nature in the sense that they can move into what is called feelings of pleasure.  Apart from pain-pleasure feelings there are love-hate, happiness-sadness, hope-despair, fear-courage feelings and all imaginable almost symphonic variations over these main themes.
When we describe these sensations we use the word: feel, a word we also use in our description of the outer skin sensations. We say I feel happy, and I feel sad.  We also say I feel pain or I feel sexually aroused.
Another interesting fact is that we don't describe these actual happenings as the actually are: as phenomenon's taking place in our inner body. We already have abstract ready made words that in itself already are interpretations of the phenomenon's. These ready made word-concepts are words like sad, happy, angry, etc.
Yet a fourth kind of feeling-sensations arise from the body core. We could call them dark matter sensations
since they somehow are utmost present, yet on the other hand we have no language to describe them.
They are in this context the most important sensations to aware. Lets have a deeper dive into the dark matter sensations.
The location of dark matter sensations
Close your eyes for a short moment after reading the next lines. Take a deep breath - deep breathing especially through the mouth makes it easier for the awareness to come in contact with the lower part of the body core. With closed eyes we can now go "hunting" for the dark matter sensations. Scan your inner body with your feeling awareness from the anus up to the throat. Between these poles there is a good possibility that you will be able to aware the dark matter energies - especially the stomach area is important.

The stomach contains the most important brain you have. This brain rules your life!

Another hot spot for dark matter energies is hidden in the hands (and feet). But let us start with an inner-body-exploration of the anus. You have to aha-feel with your inner awareness. Your basic awareness will most certainly like previous mentioned amplify your sensation of the area. You will probably feel that "something" is going on there.

If you cannot feel anything now, you should stop reading and instead use energy and time to say hello to
your body. Embrace it... It could be the beginning of a life long friendship!
There are no precise words for this
... jellyfish
Maybe we could describe this "something"  as a kind of tingling, burning or nervous electrical energy.

Most probably it will not be pleasant to feel, but it is not what you could call pain. Now go from the anus to the area of the lower stomach. Again you will feel all kinds of different tingling, nervous electrical energy patterns dance. The word "dance" is here used to highlight the fact that these energy patterns are not static. They are dynamic and they often move in very slow movements like a sea-flower moved by tidal waves. Often the
look-feel of these dark matter patterns almost looks like flowers or trees in the way they unfold in the inner-body universe.  These tingling, nervous electrical energy patterns mostly have tentacles - either within the
the core of the body and/or tentacles going out in the arms and legs. You can aware them as a kind of jellyfish with its main body in the lower stomach area. You might also feel these energy-patterns as isolated tentacles.
These tentacles might even sometimes feel like stinging or burning.
Since our language somehow has been "banned" from these areas of sensation it is very difficult to find suitable metaphors. So all the metaphor mentioned here should be apprehended in the broadest way possible.
That is partly also why I have chosen the jellyfish as a metaphor: it is in itself an almost abstract animal containing 98% water. You could also aware these energy-sensations as abstract 3-dimensional forms. It can be quite a sport to locate these abstract forms as they rise and fall in infinite variations. 
If your experience can't be contained in these metaphors you are welcome to find your own suitable analogue. The most important thing is that we can agree on that "something" is going on there.

Dark matter sensations are the building stones from which all emotions are created.
When you start to aware the tiny tingling, burning or nervous electrical energy in your body you will notice that
you in fact have been carrying a universe of complex sensations in you all the time! The most basic of all meditation techniques is to always aha-feel these sensations.  When you have made it a way of living always to aha-aware these sensations you will notice that all your feelings basically are rooted in the secret
life of the dark matter energies - it is only a question of  the intensity before these sensations are channeled
into the ready made expression-containers we call love, joy, fear, hate etc.
Actually all feeling sensations a human can aware are created out of the dark matter sensations. They are the atomic particles of all feeling-material. 
Dark matter evolves into physical feelings and then from there into emotional feelings.

Higher spiritual feelings  
Apart from the more "primitive" lower stomach-area there are rainbows of other utterly amazing energy-phenomenon's in the upper body core. These spiritual feelings in general take place from the solar plexus to the top of the head. They are born as a kind of orgasmic ecstasy in the area between pain and pleasure energies.
To enjoy these beautiful feeling-flowers along the spiritual roadside is something I wish will happen in your life
too dear reader!    
But the area from the anus to solar plexus is the most interesting and important in this context because:
It is the most difficult and painful area for the human consciousness to aware.
It is the solid foundation on which the higher spiritual feelings are created. Often people have premature
    glimpses of higher spiritual feelings before they have a genuine contact with their jellyfish-body. It is not
    advisable for a seeker to go for these glimpses directly. To aware the jellyfish-body is similar to learning to
    crawl before you start walking  


Energy-sensations in the lower parts of the body-core are the most un-consciousness
It is basically not a natural thing for the human nature directly to aware dark matter sensations and particular not in the anus, stomach and solar plexus areas. It is indeed very strange since these energies create the most intense storms in the inner body landscape. But we are not programmed to aware them directly - ether through language or by other means of conscious activity. On the contrary these storms are programmed to control us. We are always standing with our back to this tiger. And when it attacks we are just standing and screaming without really knowing what has attacked us. Actually this is just another way of expressing the obvious fact that we as human beings are controlled by our body-sensations and emotions. But no-body in a state of sensation-emotional storm says: I feel a burning and unpleasant sensation in my stomach and solar-plexus - Instead we will say: I am angry ... with you!  The only exception as far as I know is the expression:
I got butterflies in my stomach.
But  have you ever really tried with full attention to aware how fear "look-feels" as it takes place as an energy storm in your body?
Right in these days (Feb 06) millions of Moslems all over the world feel angry and offended due to some satiric drawings of The Prophet Muhammad. They were published by a Danish news paper in an immature attempt to put freedom of speech before respect for other peoples feelings. But this is not the point in this context. Million of people here are enraged in anger. But in fact they should say: I feel unease in my body. When I heard about these drawings I got a strong pain-like feeling in my stomach and my solar plexus. This sensation is too intense to contain. I must do some action against the drawings of Mohamed in order to get rid of these unbearable sensations.
So now you know... You are a puppet attached to a jellyfish with stinging strings!
Don't use the intellect while awaring the jellyfish!
In a real journey to the inner body universe it is very important that our awareness is kept in a totally pure
-state. It should not be contaminated by thoughts and concepts. Thoughts will act like a filter making it difficult for the pure ahawareness to get in close encounter with this energy-jellyfish in the stomach - and hence a weaker amplification will take place.
But while reading right now even this weak amplification is useful since it makes body and brain explore hand in hand. 

The transforming of  the Jellyfish into Lord Nataraj - the dancing Shiva

So let us return our awareness without thoughts to the jellyfish.  Our goal is - described with words from a Spielberg movie - to get in close encounter of the third kind. If we succeed, the energy-jellyfish immediately will respond by morphing, transforming and moving in a more intense way. When amplified through pure ahawareness it will make an incredible tingling, nervous electrical energy pattern-dance. And what is even more important: At some point in this dance these patterns will start to harmonize.
The harmonization point ... the energy-colors of the jellyfish merge into oneness
At a certain point in the awareness amplification process the tingling, nervous electrical energy patterns will start to harmonize. In the beginning of our journey the sensation of the jellyfish was slightly unpleasant if not directly painful. What here is defined as harmonization is a point where the journey starts to become pleasant, even ecstatic.  From this moment onwards the sense-see-awareness of the jellyfish is becoming more and more beautiful. It could be compared to a snow crystal, although it may still be morphing-moving. To aware the Jellyfish becomes after the harmonization-point an almost sensual joy.
Another interesting aspect of the harmonized jellyfish is that the different aspects of the tingling, nervous electrical energy patterns tends to converge into oneness - pretty much the same way as a polyphonic part of a music piece can be followed by a homophonic or unison part. All the invisible colors of the dance turns into white light - (but only as a metaphor since visions of white light is belonging to an
altogether different and "higher" state of the process of getting meditated). 

The Inner body Spaceness - the glorious birth of Consciousness

When the jellyfish has become crystallized, the attention-energy from the awareness will be reflected from the jellyfish back to the source of the awareness. The crystallized jellyfish acts like a mirror for the awareness.
What happens now can be compared to a sudden loud feed back from a microphone-loudspeaker system: awareness feedbacks into awareness. In this often quite sudden exponential happening - when awareness awares awareness - consciousness is "created". Consciousness is according to my experience-definition "feedbacked" awareness.
The same thing basically happens when you in meditation ask the question:  Who am I?
This consciousness is an abstract entity and its description easily attracts metaphors from quantum physics.
It is not particular able to sense objects or able to be directed in time and space. Actually it transcends time and objects and becomes pure spaceness. Let us look at how that happens: The first thing this new born consciousness is doing is to aware the context of the jellyfish-dance. It is not so much concerned with the sensation-part of the story. Rather it is seeing through flowing out to the borders of the energy-dance. And here it cannot find the borders of the dance - it cannot find any end! It is one of the greatest assets of consciousness that it cannot find endings. It cannot divide - on the contrary it unites the divided parts into chains in and of infinity.
And so it starts rejoicing as pure timeless spaceness.
It is my intuitive feeling that consciousness even transcends this state of spaceness, but since I have not experienced it I cannot talk about it.
If you are blank after reading all these words maybe this little exercise intuitively can put you back on the track. Ask yourself from inside after awaring the tiny energy-tingling in your feet: where do my inner feet stop and where does the floor begin?
I am sure you inner experience at some point will be that there are no borders.
And thus the dark Inner Body Universe is discovered.  If this journey is allowed to go to its natural destination, "You" as pure consciousness will leave the realm of body-sensations.
In this state you are not aware of "your" body! Or maybe one could say that "You" know that you don't have a body.  And thus the statement I am not the body is a statement only the body can make.
This journey through the Inner Body Universe can only be made in the jellyfish-UFO.
It is a wonderful joke ... Yes ... Your body is the UFO that brings you beyond the body...
Ascending from pure consciousness - the magic healing of the emotional body.
Now let us for a moment return to the headline of this chapter: Feel to heal - the importance of the ability to feel. And with this headline we take a plunge back in the body. When this consciousness returns to bodily sensations it discovers that the body has been through a marvelous healing process. Actually this healing of the body did not take place in the state of pure consciousness. It happened in the process just before that:
at the harmonization point ... the moment where the energy-colors of the jellyfish merged into oneness.
Here we discover the cleaning effect of an integral suffered meditation.

This wonderful healing touches you exactly where your emotional energy body is connected with the physiological body. You will feel refreshed, light, joyful. Whatever nervous imbalances you have suffered due to stress, worry or other problems. After this harmonization point you will feel as your nervous system is completely reset to zero.
The implications of this are very important. It implicates that if you make it a lifestyle to aware the (often stinging) jellyfish, you will prevent you nervous systems from damage and delay its aging process.
This is a hard proven fact in my own inner body-laboratory. I am 51 years old. My reaction time has in a test measured been measured to be far below the average of people around 25.

Awareness and feeling sensations
awareness turns feeling-sensations into abstract "energy" - the abstract energy is the fuel for consciousness
thus awareness should  be rooted in a permanent inner body feeling. All the mentioned sensations from physical pain, sex and emotions can be used to manufacture this fuel.
When our feeling awareness contains these energies they are transformed into consciousness.
feeling-seeing the dark universe inside the body.

Know Thyself  - Loose to win
Every time you get upset, fearful, angry, sad you are presented with a gift. The zen-buddhist say:

To win is to loose - to loose is to win...

Every external blow to your system is a blessing since it contains an invitation for the brave to explore the inner-body-universe. To know oneself is not an intellectual process - on the contrary - it is a
to know yourself is to know , be at home with , surrender to – familiar with any inner-body sensation  that is possible in your bio-energy-system without making thought strategies to change and manipulate them.
To surrender to your own inner-body-sensations – innerstand them is to be a spiritual warrior.
Spontaneous meditation rest behind the great wall of inner-body sensations - pain.
Spontaneous  in the absence of thoughts
When consciousness meets inner-body sensations without any filters of conceptual understanding= thoughts – a spontaneous self healing is taking place


Fear & anger are friends
Fear has been with us for millions of years. It is a natural and very good feeling and taken in awareness is can be a great resource of energy for the body mind and soul.
Don’t be afraid of being afraid – and also don’t search for fear - just accept what ever comes  in front of your nose. The stomach is the reactor-centre of the fear to energy transformation.
We are meant to act on these emotions. Either attack or flee. These emotions release energy
in the body to make us fit for survival. This energy can through awareness be transformed into food or the consciousness

It is indeed a mystery. If it was not so serious in its consequences I would laugh and call it the best joke I have ever heard...